What about the family?
We come again to the cross and listen intently. Jesus' focus it seems is home. Last week we heard how he assured the thief that he would be in Paradise – which we associate as being Jesus' home (though with an out-of-this-world's postcode!). And now near the cross, down here on earth, we are taken by the gospel writer, John, to a wide range view of the cross – not so much focusing on Jesus but more on the surroundings and Jesus' perspective.
Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother, his mother's sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, "Dear woman, here is your son", and to the disciple, "Here is your mother". >From that time on, this disciple took her into his home. (John 19:25-27 NIV)
It is a tender moment. Described succinctly and yet evoking emotion – embellished a little in some modern translations with the word 'dear' – the words on the page and in the ear do not transmit the wheezing and gasping for breath, the pain and effort required to speak – as Jesus places his mother into the care of John. It is the act of a dying man – part of his will so to speak – and church tradition associates Mary with John – first in Jerusalem and then in Ephesus for the rest of her life.
We can marvel at what we might call Jesus' attention to detail – here he is carrying the sins of the world, battling the forces of darkness and evil that even now are trying to tempt him to use his power and get down from the cross – or even secretly give himself some pain relief – and he pauses and cares for an individual – someone devastated by his death – his mother. We rightly conclude that Jesus is compassionate and we take heart when we are desolate that Jesus will not abandon us to our desolation. (Mary wasn't rescued from the pain and grief of Jesus' death even though she rejoiced at his resurrection.)
I suspect that the only thing 'wrong' with this scene revolves around the fact that Jesus was dying – executed in a way that would bring God's curse upon him. John presents the passion of Jesus as his coronation – crowned as king he draws all people to himself, even his enemies bow down before him (if you recall how John describes Jesus' arrest). And yet I wonder what Jesus' family thought of what he'd done. We accept that he had brothers and sisters and we know from Mark 3 that relations at some point were somewhat strained – perhaps rocky. If you are the brother closest in age to Jesus, I can at least imagine him reacting crossly to what his 'weirdo big brother' did – What? He said that Mum was to live with one of his disciples?! The nerve! That's my responsibility. I wanted her to live with me!
Accept that for the speculation that it is but I would like to make the point that while we might have a son caring for his mother we might also have the Lord caring for his disciple and cutting across family ties to do it! Some of the hard or uncomfortable sayings of Jesus revolve around his view of family, which we in the West and maybe more so in America promote almost above all things.
Large crowds were travelling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters – yes, even his own life – he cannot be my disciple. And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple" (Luke 14:25-27 NIV).
What could be more God pleasing we can ask than working for and supporting one's family? In a society of much family breakdown the church should encourage family cohesion and support. Hopefully the church does but as we have discussed time and time again how sin perverts and deludes and twists everything good from God, so Jesus highlights even here the right priority for a disciple. Jesus claims first place. Anything else is ultimately sin! And we rebel against such a view, a commandment – a first commandment. Again and again, we want to be boss. And that can be ruinous in families – two, three, four, in our family – seven – people living in a house all trying to be 'boss', all trying to get everyone else to orbit them. Jesus comes to rescue and forgive us even from the sins we commit in our families – maybe deep or secret sins – the running sore sins – the petty annoying sins.
And forgiven – having been taken now into Jesus' home – he sends us back now into our families and our marriages with the call and charge to 'follow me' – and serve our wife or husband, parent or child.
Jesus is Lord, King, compassionate and kind who truly understands family life and is the only one who can truly help us live in it.